


Seasons of Love

by Sigyn_Hel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bullying, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, MWPP, Marauder Years 1-7, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), References to Depression, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigyn_Hel/pseuds/Sigyn_Hel
Summary: Remus was told by his parents to fly below the radar at Hogwarts. He didn't even last five minutes before making a friend.A look at the Marauder's seven years at Hogwarts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The rating is for future chapters. Warnings will be adjusted as will the tags for future chapters. The first year will probably be told like this one. In small snapshots before later years flesh out into longer stand alone chapters. I hope you guys enjoy.

To say that he was nervous was an understatement as Remus watched people his own age and older pass him to get to the Hogwarts Express. He was used to being alone if he was entirely honest. Growing up moving constantly because of his _illness_ kind of made it impossible to have friends. His social skills weren’t what they should’ve been at eleven years old. According to his mother he was too sarcastic for his own good.

Looking into a compartment and smiling at a heftier looking boy as he opened the door.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” Remus asked, as the boy looked at him in surprise.

“Y—Yeah sure.”

Remus moved to sit down as the other boy shifted in his seat.

“I’m Peter Pettigrew.”

Remus took the offered hand hesitantly; he always felt nervous about touching anyone. While his parents tried to shower him with affection he didn’t like being touched by them. He’d always felt like he’d ruined their lives because of his illness.

“Remus Lupin, nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Peter said, finally smiling at him, “So what house do you hope to get in?”

Remus honestly hadn’t thought about what house he’d be sorted into. His father had been a Ravenclaw but hadn’t really spoken about Hogwarts much until the last few weeks.

“My father was in Ravenclaw but I’d be okay with any house.” Remus told him, shrugging.

“Even Slytherin?” Peter asked, paling just a little.

His father had told him enough about Hogwarts to know the reputations each of the houses had.

“It’s statistically impossible for every person in Slytherin to be bad.” Remus explained, “Honestly I’d love to be in Gryffindor but I think I’ll be put in Ravenclaw.”

“Because you’re so smart?” Peter joked.

Remus laughed softly with the boy, “I think my father would be overjoyed. What about you?”

“My cousin Enid thinks I’ll be a Hufflepuff for sure.”

“Well there’s nothing wrong with that.” Remus said honestly, “At least we’re lucky enough to go to Hogwarts, right?”

“Right!” Peter agreed.

Remus stopped speaking when someone else knocked on the door. A red head by the name of Marlene McKinnon joined them. She sparked up a new subject about Quidditch that had Peter enthralled. Remus watched them as he ran his hand through his tawny brown hair.

“What’s your favorite Quidditch team, Remus?” Peter asked, smiling kindly at the boy.

Remus opened and shut his mouth; thinking for a moment about being included before he shrugged again.

“Probably the Caerphilly Catapults.”

“Not the Holyhead Harpies?” Peter asked, “That’s interesting.”

“The Harpies are great but the Catapults have a stronger team.” Remus explained as Marlene smiled at him.

“They do!” she exclaimed, turning to Peter as they continued their talk.

The only reason he knew about the Catapults and Harpies is because his father had actually taken him to two games while they’d still been in Wales. It had been the best memories he’d had in his life. Both paling to when Dumbledore came and told him he could attend Hogwarts over a game of Gobstones.

After thinking for years he wouldn’t be able to and then being told he could. Well it filled him with a happiness he wasn’t used to feeling.

They’d been traveling for some time when another red head knocked and opened the door with a black haired male behind her. She smiled at them hesitantly before she cleared her throat gently.

“Do you guys mind if we join you?” she asked, “I’m Lily Evans and this is Severus Snape.”

The black haired boy just looked at all of them curiously as Marlene made room on the other side of her. Lily taking that spot while Severus took the space next to Remus.

The smaller male just looked to the floor. There was too many people in the compartment and it was making him feel a little uncomfortable. Especially when the two red heads started talking about subjects they were excited about at school. Severus chiming in every once in a while quietly while Peter disagreed with taking Potions and Transfiguration loudly.

“So did you guys make it on the train late?” Marlene asked.

Lily laughed gently, “More like we were sitting with two ignorant toerags who don’t understand proper manners.”

“Isn’t that a little harsh?” Remus asked, wincing when the black haired male’s gaze fell on him, “We’ve only been on the train for a little while. You can’t judge people that quickly. There’s um...nerves and fear working against them.”

The red head regarded him carefully before she licked her lips.

“They were being unnecessarily cruel to Severus because he wants to be sorted into Slytherin.” Lily told them, “As if being in Slytherin automatically makes him evil.”

“While I agree with you on that, you also can’t consider them ignorant toerags because of their feelings towards that house. People are allowed to feel however they want without people making them feel bad about it.” Remus said softly.

“True as that may be they don’t get to call me names.” the black haired male said, “Or are you justifying bullying?”

“I’d like to say I’d never justify bullying.” Remus said, lowering his eyes to the floor.

Given his own childhood and how many people had called him a freak...well he knew all about that subject.

“Let’s change the subject.” Peter interjected, looking at the boy’s lowered head, “We still have a few hours left, let’s try to spend it in harmony.”

“Peter’s right.” Marlene agreed.

Remus tuned them out then. He hated feeling like he didn’t belong and while his parents had assured him he’d be fine he still felt the same way he always had.

Like an outcast on the outside looking in. He’d grown up seeing kids playing together outside and never being able to do so himself. It made him want to scream and cry when he was younger.

Now he was used to the silence. He filled his time with studying and reading. Books were one of the only ways he was able to escape the hell he called his childhood. While he loved his parents dearly he hated not being able to talk with anyone his own age. Not being able to tell people about why he was a ‘freak.’

Remus had already put on his robes by the time the others had started to. Leaving to go to the loo and coming back dressed. His parents had drilled the importance of either going in his robes or changing in the bathroom. No one could know of his secret. He knew the consequences if someone did. He’d be singled out and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he’d have to leave the school.

Watching the sun set and the moon rise as he watched them finally come into a station. Following Peter out and sticking with the boy who kept smiling at him. Walking right next to him as they made their way after a giant male that told them all to call him Hagrid.

“You okay, Remus?” Peter asked kindly.

“I am, thanks Peter.” Remus said gratefully.

“I hope whatever house we get sorted into that we can be friends. I could use some.”

Remus’ smile became more genuine as he nodded his head.

“I could use a friend too.” Remus told him.

Climbing into a boat with Marlene and a lad named Frank Longbottom. Making their way to the castle as Remus finally set his eyes on it. It was as magical as his father had claimed it was. The soft candle light casting an ethereal glow to the castle.

He exchanged a look with Peter who looked like he was completely entranced by it.

The water was black in the moonlight; shimmering as they made their way closer to the school. Remus never thought he’d actually see this place in person. The times his father spoke about it were so few and far in between but Remus could always tell this place held some of the best memories of his father’s life.

Coming to the other side as their boats slowly came to a stop. Remus helped Peter out as the two boys kept close; noticing a red haired girl and a black haired boy getting towards the front of the small crowd.

Remus running into someone and falling as he felt Peter try and fail to stabilize him. Hearing someone

“I’m so sorry.”

Remus looked up into gray eyes that were almost silver. Seeing a smile cross the boy’s face as he offered his hand.

“Remus, are you okay?” Peter asked.

“I’m fine.” Remus said, taking the hand and being helped up, “It’s fine, I wasn’t looking.”

The boy was pulled by a dark haired male with glasses before he could say anything else. Remus watched the boy look back at him with a smile. Following them with Peter as they went into the castle and up the stairs. Seeing a woman in green robes look at them.

“Welcome to Hogwarts, my name is Professor McGonagall. Before you take your seats for the start of term feast you will be sorted into your houses. Those houses being Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. Follow me.”

Remus felt nervous as he followed with Peter closely behind him. He could almost taste how scared some of the students were. Standing with each of them as the woman stood by a stool with a hat on it that started to sing. He remembered his father telling him that the hat would sing each year depending on what was going on.

When it was over the woman had a list that she had pulled out.

“Archibald Abbott.”

A blonde haired boy walked up to the stool and sat down. The hat said nothing at all as Remus watched on. Before the hat shouted, “Hufflepuff!”

Remus heard the cheers from the table to their left as their new member joined them.

“Sirius Black.”

Whispers immediately started as Remus looked around confused. Even Peter looked a little nervous as he took a step closer to the slightly taller boy.

Remus realized it was the boy from earlier; his silvery eyes looking around as he sat on the stool nervously. His fingers twitching as he gripped the stool.

“_I didn’t realize a Black was starting this year.”_

Remus turned to look at the male behind them. Recognizing him as Frank from the train.

“Gryffindor!”

Gasps surrounded them as he heard even Peter let one go. The boy that had been with him whooping and fist pumping the air. The boy, Sirius, looked stunned as he glanced nervously at the Slytherin table. Remus didn’t know that an entire house could be disappointed in not getting one person yet here they were.

Remus tuned out the following names. Watching the boy sit nervously next to an older student. He looked entirely out of his depth.

“Lily Evans.”

Remus watched her go up the stairs with a calmness he knew he didn't have. Sitting down and smiling when the hat went on her head. She looked up at the brim of it with a frown.

“Gryffindor!”

She popped up without any hesitation; making her way to sit a little away from Sirius. Giving him a glare as she looked back towards the stool. The silver eyed boy just rolled his eyes at her before he turned his own eyes back to the sorting.

Remus was more nervous now than he thought he’d be. He knew he didn’t belong here regardless of what Dumbledore had told him at his home. His parents had given up hope he’d come here and so had he.

Werewolves didn’t deserve a magical education is what his aunt had told him. She was the only family member that knew of his affliction. His parents having suppressed that particular announcement after seeing how she reacted. The only time he saw her was during the holidays anyways.

“Remus Lupin.”

“Good luck.” Peter said softly, as Remus swallowed hard.

The walk seemed to take forever although he knew it was only a few minutes.

Looking at the hat as the professor lifted it as he sat down.

When it was put on his head he took a deep breath.

“_A werewolf I see. Very peculiar….very rare. You’re clever but timid. Loneliness…but there’s loyalty there for the people you love. You’d do well in Ravenclaw.” a voice said, “But even still...hmm..the loyalty in you. A thirst for companionship.”_

“Gryffindor!”

Remus felt stunned as the hat was taken off of him and he walked into a daze to the Gryffindor table. There were cheering as he took a seat next to dark haired boy.

“I’m Sirius Black.” he said, “Meant to introduce myself after I ran you over.”

“Remus Lupin.” Remus said, giving him a small smile, “And I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“We’ll call it a draw then, Remus Lupin.” Sirius grinned.

Two students went to Slytherin whilst one went to Ravenclaw. Peter’s name being called as he went up to sit on the stool. Remus watched the round face of the boy and tilted his head at the fear he saw on that face.

His sorting seemed to go on forever in Remus’ mind. Watching as the unsorted students started to get restless. Almost as if they were about to protest to Peter’s taking so long. Everyone else hadn’t taken this long.

“Gryffindor!” the hat cried finally as Remus let out a breath.

Peter walked, didn’t rush, but still had some haste in his footsteps to sit across from Remus. Smiling at the tawny haired boy as the werewolf returned it.

“James Potter.”

“Come on, James!” Sirius cried next to him, as James grinned at the boy.

“Best friend?” Peter asked, as Sirius snorted.

“We just met on the train but you could say that. You know your friends when you see them.” Sirius said firmly.

“I can only imagine that where your arrogance fails his fills right in.” the red head, Lily, stated.

It shouted Gryffindor before it even grazed James’ hair. The bespeckled boy standing up with a grin as he went to sit in between Peter and Lily, who groaned.

“James Potter.” he said to Remus and Peter, ignoring the red head entirely.

“I’m Peter Pettigrew and this is Remus Lupin.”

“Pleasure.” James said.

“Severus Snape.”

Remus watched both James and Sirius’ noses turn up at the name as they tried to get Peter and Remus to focus on them.

“So where are you two from?” Sirius asked Remus, who shrugged.

“Cotswolds.” Peter said, grinning, “You?”

“Slytherin!” the hat shouted, as the two boys faces went even more sour.

The red head looked disappointed as she watched her friend go to the table opposite her.

“Islington in London.” Sirius told him, “James here is from Devonshire. What about you?”

He looked at Remus who looked at the table.

“Merthyr Mawr in Wales.” Remus told them, seeing them look at him in interest which immediately made him uncomfortable.

Fly under the radar. That was the one thing his father drilled into his head last night before he went to bed. And he hadn’t even made it an hour at this school without calling attention to himself.

“Where is that in Wales?”

“Between Bridgend and Porthcawl.” Remus answered honestly, “It’s a village.”

Sirius leaned his head on his hand as he stared at Remus curiously.

“That’s really cool.” Sirius said, as Dumbledore stepped forward to welcome them.

Remus watched the dishes in front of him fill with food. Everyone grabbing food immediately as he just stared at the food. While his parents loved him dearly, he always picked food last out of respect for them. Doing the same with these people before grabbing some chicken and potatoes.

James, Peter and Sirius all talked and kept looking to Remus to fill in his own answers which the male did. Trying to include the red head, Lily, as well as the other occupants of the table in their year.

When the feast was over, Remus tried to blend into the crowd going towards their house. The moving staircases caught his attention quickly as the prefect navigated them with ease. The young werewolf kept with the others as they made it to a portrait with a hefty woman.

“Forget me not.” was spoken clearly as the portrait swung open.

They filed inside and Remus’ eyes widened at the common room. It was spacious with a large window next to tables, being used by older students as they caught up.

“The girls dormitories are to the left, the boys to the right.”

Remus followed Peter, James and Sirius up the stairs. Going to a door as James opened it. Their things were already in front of the four beds. Remus went and sat on his. The red curtains were open; the window showing the night sky.

Two weeks until the full moon. The excuse he was supposed to use was his aunt was ill. His father would send him the excuses to make it look more valid.

“Well looks like we’re going to be roommates, gents.” James said, sitting on his own bed.

Peter grinned widely, “Are you guys excited about classes?”

“I’m more excited about not being around my family.” Sirius said honestly, leaning against the wall, “If there were a definition for suffocation you’d see my mother as the example.”

James and Peter laughed; Remus smiling just a little bit. Not enough to be noticeable from where the dark haired boy was standing.

“I think we’re excited to be away from home and to learn spells.” James shrugged, “What about you, Remus?”

“I’m just happy to be here.” Remus told them honestly.

Because for all intents and purposes he shouldn’t have been. His parents were happy for the opportunity but they, like he thought that Dumbledore had lost his mind. But he assured them that he’d taken every precaution to keep his secret and protect him and the students.

“We should get ready for bed.”

Each of them getting changed; Remus going into the bathroom. His parents for the most part kept him chained and muzzled once they discovered the wolf would try to bite his own limbs off.

He didn’t think that Dumbledore knew that. But his scars told a story he didn’t want anyone to ask about. Glancing in the mirror as he sighed. The bite mark around his hip always stood out. He didn’t really have friends at home so no one saw him when he swan or did anything that could show this mark.

The other scars ran down his back in and his thighs. Putting pajamas on before he left the bathroom. They were all in their beds; curtains drawn and the light out. Remus went to the window and looked out over the lake they’d come to the school on.

His father used to tell him stories before he was bitten about Hogwarts. His mother having told him to stop that after.

Everything that occurred after always hurt to think about. He wasn’t supposed to make friends or draw attention to himself. If he did then that meant they’d have to move. They’d been in their current home for almost two years. No one noticed anything because he was homeschooled and kept away from the general masses. Like what he had was contagious every day instead of once a month.

He knew that closer to the moon his parents were scared of him. He was more moody; never mean or vicious just down and quiet.

He never felt lucky since the bite. Never felt like he deserved much of anything. His father had had very different views before he was bitten. And even then he still had some of those same views; he just made sure not to mention them in front of Remus. But there was only so much walls could do to quieten his voice.

His father had told his mother that he’d never say those things to Remus, because he still loved his son so much but the facts were facts.

Werewolves were monsters; he by association was a monster.

Monsters didn’t have friends or a life. His father thought Hogwarts was a waste of his time because it would be next to impossible for him to get a job after.

His parents loved him but they were also painfully realistic.

“Can’t sleep?”

Remus looked at Sirius who was sitting up in his bed.

“Nerves.” Remus said softly.

“Are you kidding? Why are you nervous?”

“I’ve moved a lot so I’m not used to making friends or staying places for long periods of time.” Remus said honestly, as Sirius slid out of his bed.

“Why do you move around so much?”

“My parents work. My father works at the Ministry in the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures department. So he tracks rogue spirits and ghosts.”

His father had made the decision to stay on with the ministry because he and his mother thought it’d be easier for them to keep Remus’ affliction a secret. By shifting attention away from their family. His father was still very outspoken about being anti-werewolf to keep up the facade.

That’s what his mother told him; as if that excused what Remus heard at night.

Remus knew everything his parents did was for his own good. He used to be manageable under the full moon but now he wasn’t. Silencing charms and quad locked doors did nothing against the wolf now. Which is why the chains and muzzle had come out in the first place.

Didn’t make it hurt any less.

“That’s cool.” Sirius said, standing beside Remus who looked at him, “Lot more interesting than my family.”

“What do they do?” Remus asked, as Sirius looked at him in a stunned silence.

“Nothing really, they’re just rich. The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.” Sirius said, not seeing anything on Remus’ face, “The Black family is known for being blood purists. Which is just a dfferent way of saying they’re assholes. I don’t care what blood status someone is. It’s all a bunch of bullshit.”

“Well at least you have your own mind.” Remus said, as Sirius tilted his head with a smile, “Are they going to be excited you got sorted into Gryffindor?”

“The opposite really. Black’s are usually sorted into Slytherin.”

Remus smiled kindly, “Well, let that be a lesson for you in that you’re nothing like them if you weer sorted into Gryffindor.”

The smile that lit up Sirius’ face made Remus look away.

“Have you never heard of the Black family?” Sirius asked.

“Not really. My Dad didn’t really talk about wizarding families much when I was growing up. I think they thought I was going to present as a squib or something. Didn’t want to rub something in my face that may not happen.” Remus said, “That being said, if you don’t want to be like your family that isn’t a bad thing, Sirius. If most people could stand up to their families we may have less jerks in the world.”

He didn’t know where the words were coming from even if he believed them with all his heart.

“I think we’re going to be great friends, Remus Lupin.” Sirius said, earnestly.

Friends? Remus tried to keep the shock off his face. While Peter had made the comment, Remus had hardly doubted he’d stay friends with him. The way Sirius looked and spoke with him made him believe it. He’d spent the last few weeks reading his textbooks on spells and potions to prepare himself. He’d never actually thought about making friends.

So much for flying under that radar.

“I think so as well.” Remus said softly, “Good night Sirius.”

Remus went to his own bed and crawled in. Pulling the curtains as he stared at the canopy in shock. He was so used to being shunned and called names by kids his age that he’d never even thought of the possibility of having friends in reality.

He tried not to think too much on it as he fell asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning found him in his first class Potions. He sat next to Peter who looked nervous as he looked at the cauldron in front of him. James and Sirius sat behind them and if Remus had any doubt about Sirius it was immediately rectified by the fact the boy had sat next to him at breakfast with James and spoke with him and Peter.

People know when they’ve met good people is what his mother used to say about his bullies.

“Good Morning class! I’m Professor Slughorn. Today we will be looking at brewing our first potion.” he said, “It will be the Pompinion Potion on page twenty-seven of your textbook. Go ahead and grab flitterby moth from the open cabinet. You’ll be working in pairs with the person next to you.”

He went back into his office as the students started to move.

“I’ll get it Remus.” Peter said, as he stood up and went to the cabinet.

Sirius went with the other boy as James came to stand by his desk.

“So Sirius and I are going to the Black Lake after classes if you want to join.” James said, “Peter can come too?”

“Um, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” Remus said, as James frowned, “It’s the first day of school, James.”

“Come on Remus, we get to have fun too. It isn’t just all studying. You have to let loose every-”

“Out of the way, fatty.”

Remus looked at the boy who had said it. Seeing the Slytherin tie and frowning as he recognized the boy as the one from the sorting that James and Sirius hadn’t liked.

“Who the hell are you shaming when your nose should have it’s own postal code.” Sirius shot back with a glare.

Remus watched Peter look down, his cheeks pink as Sirius stood in front of him. James had stopped talking to look at the exchange as well.

“Well at least my nose can fit through the door. What’s his excuse?”

Remus felt the beginnings of anger stir in his stomach. Coming from the person who had accused him of excusing bullying he couldn’t handle it. Pulling his wand out and muttering a spell as he watched the Slytherin boy’s shoelaces tie together.

“Are you so sure about that?” Sirius snapped, “Don’t be a-”

Seeing the boy trip and fall with the moths going into his face caused the whole classroom to laugh loudly. Lily ran up to him to help him fix his shoelaces with a glare in their direction.

“At least Peter can walk by himself. Seems that is a problem for you.” Remus said, causing the laughter to intensify.

Sirius and Peter looked at Remus as James stared at the boy in incredulity.

The two Gryffindor boys coming over to them as Peter sat back down.

“You tied his shoelaces together.” James said, quietly, “That was bloody brilliant!”

“He was being a bully.” Remus told them softly.

“More than just.” Sirius said, as Peter smiled at him.

“Thank you, Remus.” Peter said, as Slughorn came back out.

“Mr. Snape, what are you doing on the floor, my boy? You have to brew a potion at your desk.”

Remus hid his laugh behind a hand; the other three boys doing no such thing as they outright laughed with the rest of the class.

Something told the tawny haired boy that him doing that would definitely come up later at the Black Lake. Because as soon as James said something about it to Peter the boy had looked at him.

And just like that he had three friends.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus Snape was a bit of an ass, if Remus was honest. It didn’t matter what class it was Potions or Transfiguration. He always tried to single out someone from Gryffindor with the exception of Lily Evans.

After a nasty comment about Sirius’ family being disappointed in their son, Remus had sent a tripping jinx his way on the stairs. Granted, he hadn’t meant for it to hit when the male got to the stairs but nevertheless he stood by it because Sirius hadn’t actually done anything to the git yet. Especially after Sirius had gotten a Howler from his parents about how disappointed they were in him.

While Sirius didn’t want to be like his parents, it had hurt him. Remus could see it on his face even as they tried to get his mind off of it.

However, his little jinxes in Potions had caused a great debate about starting pranks. James and Sirius had been ‘absolutely inspired’ by Remus.

“If we’re going to do it we’ll get caught.” Peter said, frowning.

“Not if we’re smart about it.” Sirius said, “Remus can come up with some pranks. Obviously he knows jinxes.”

“I read a lot before we came to school.” Remus said, blushing, “And I’m not so sure that we can get away with pranks when we don’t even know our way around the school fully. It’s only been two weeks.”

“Then we’ll learn it. We can pull a prank after that, right Rem?”

Rem? Remus could fully state that he’d never had a nickname before except from his mother.

The young werewolf chewed his bottom lip.

“Let me get back from home and I’ll think about it.” Remus said, as the other boys frowned, “I already told you boys that my aunt is ill. My parents didn’t say how serious it was but they want me home for the weekend.”

“I forgot.” Sirius frowned, “Do you have to, Rem?”

Remus flushed, “You know I do, Sirius. My parents made it quite clear that my presence was demanded, not asked.”

“Sucks.” Peter sighed, leaning against the same tree as James was sitting in.

Remus looked down as Sirius threw his arm over his shoulder.

“I get it.” Sirius said, an understanding look on his face, “Family doesn’t really give you a choice. We’ll plan pranks when you get back.”

“I said I’d think about it.” Remus told him, seeing Sirius shrug.

“Yeah but how can you say no to the three of us? We’re your best friends.” Sirius said, as the three of them gave Remus their best puppy dog faces.

Remus laughed and shoved Sirius away. It was so weird thinking about having friends but at the same time it was a welcome thing.

“Fine! We’ll plan a prank when I get back.” Remus said, “It—should only be a few days at most.”

Seeing them celebrate and knowing he had caused their happiness made him stop reading for just a moment.

His parents had written to him a few times asking how he was liking things. His father questioning if he’d made friends yet and reminding him again it may not be a good idea.

And Remus knew why it wasn’t but at the same time, he adored these three boys just a few weeks into their school career. Whether they remained friends or not was in their hands, not his.

“So you’re leaving tonight?” Sirius asked, as James and Peter walked ahead of them.

“I am.” Remus said.

Sirius, while sticking to James’ side most of the time, stuck to Remus whenever he wasn’t. Their first night in the tower stuck with Remus. It was the first real talk he’d had with someone.

Loneliness killed people whether his parents wanted to admit it or not. And the very selfish part of Remus that he never liked to acknowledge wanted to not be lonely anymore. He wanted to be around people...have friends. Even if they left him in the end. No matter how his parents reacted to him having friends.

“Well that means you’ll be back that much sooner.” Sirius said, “Jamie, Pete, let’s say we have a round of Exploding Snap.”

This was his life now and he was fine with it.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The transformations were always horrible. They had been ever since his first one. Every bone in your body broken and repaired to accommodate a beast lurking inside you just ready to rip out of you once a month.

He remembered the pain. It was all he did all night. For hours on end; seeing himself being ripped into and not being able to do anything.

He saw everything.

He felt everything.

He remembered everything.

But he couldn’t stop anything. That night, like most nights, was the same.

He remembered the spells his father put up for the chains. The chains were needed but the muzzle spell was more advanced than what he could do.

It would keep him restrained and that was what was important. He knew Dumbledore had put spells upon spells around the Shrieking Shack to keep him inside. Knew that unless someone took them down he’d stay in this place.

But it still scared him.

The first transformation in the shack he knew would be the most difficult. It was a new territory to the wolf. It was unfamiliar and strange and the wolf needed a routine and a safe space.

Madame Pomfrey walked him down and into the shack. She walked him back into the castle and into the Hospital Wing. From there a cloaking spell hid him from prying eyes.

Letting her heal him and wondering what the boys were doing.

He had new scars on his thigh and his wrist. Madame Pomfrey had paled when she’d seen it. Remus knew it was bad but the wolf was furious.

Pomfrey was understanding and motherly. She fixed him up and gave him blood replenishing potions. Took every precaution and tried to get him out in two days.

“We don’t want you to miss too many classes.” she told him, giving him a cup of Skele Gro.

He had drank it like someone who had had to drink it one too many times. It tasted foul, like someone had put all the bitter and sourness in the world into one bottle.

But it worked; hurt like hell to regrow broken bones but it got him out of there sooner.

That was his routine. Sometimes he wondered if it was worth it. All of this pain and for what? To never have a job when he got done with school? Friends who would flee if they ever found out?

His father was probably right. Making friends was probably a mistake.

And yet, he had this feeling that these boys were different. And he wanted to prove his father wrong.

It took everything in him to choke down the potions.

He’d made his friends a promise to pull a prank after all.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

James had tackled him to the bed as soon as he’d walked through the dorm. Sirius and Peter not far behind as they squeezed him in a tight hug.

“You’re back!” Peter said loudly.

Four months and it still stunned Remus that they were happy to see him. They questioned him still about having to leave each month but he kept up the lie that his aunt was ill.

It was a good lie. If his aunt was ill then he could use that same excuse for as long as needed until he had to think of another one.

In that four month period they had played more pranks than Remus had originally thought they would’ve. So far, they hadn’t gotten any detentions. They’d been so sneaky and stealthy that it was quite amazing.

But luck always ran out; Remus Lupin knew that for a fact.

Their main target was Slytherin. The house as a whole became the butt of their jokes.

“How is your aunt?” James asked, as they all got off of him.

“Still very ill but my parents needed the break.” Remus lied, “The few days I’m there they can actually rest and do things they want to do.”

“That’s a lot to ask from a kid.” Peter frowned.

“Yeah but Remus isn’t like most kids. He’s too responsible.” Sirius said, pinching Remus’ cheek and laughing as he moved away from the swatting hand, “It’s a good quality, Rem.”

“Then why do you say it like it isn’t?” Remus asked suspiciously.

“Because I don’t understand that quality.” Sirius grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius sat next to him.

“So we’re staying over the holiday with you.” Peter announced as Sirius opened his mouth, “Sorry! I was too excited to keep it in.”

Thankfully the full moon was a full two and a half weeks before Christmas. It had been a full three and a half days ago.

“Why?”

“Like we could let you be here by yourself.” James rolled his eyes.

“Yeah Remus, that’s utter nonsense.” Sirius told him, “Besides, it’ll give us plenty of time to come up with a beginning of new term prank.”

Sirius’ mind was always on pranks and tricks. While he had other hobbies like getting into muggle music because of Simon and Remus, muggle clothing and motorcycles his main focus was on pranks.

He and James breezed through their classes whereas Remus and Peter had to study. Granted tehir friends helped them but they never went out of their way to study themselves.

Homework, unless it was an essay, was done in their study hour.

“Which I bet you’ve already thought about.” Remus snorted.

“More than thought about. The three of us have an idea but it needs the Remus Lupin touch.”

The tawny haired boy laughed and shook his head.

Remus Lupin touch meant making it harder for them to get caught. McGonagall already had her nose sniffing around them. Nothing she could pin on them but still she was onto them.

“What’s the prank?”

“We want to prank Snivellus. We thought about charming his seat to making sounds when he sits down. Peter thinks farting ones but we’re open to suggestions.”

Snivellus was a nickname that James had given Severus Snape and it had stuck. Remus bore the boy no ill will but it was a harmless prank. The nickname had started because Snape had sniffled his way through an entire Potions class and it had driven James insane.

“What about a foghorn instead?” Remus suggested, seeing Peter’s eyes light up, “We could charm all of his things to do it, actually. Touching his quill, parchment, bag...anything really.”

“What’s foghorn?” Sirius asked.

“It’s a really loud blast of sound. I don’t even know how to-”

Remus muttered a silencing spell before charming a book. Picking it up as the sound emited from it.

“That’s brilliant! Could we do it to him during breakfast too?” James asked, eyes bright.

“It’d be a little harder.” Remus said, frowning just a little, “But if we all do it then it’ll be easier. No one can see your wands move though. They do and that’s detention for all of us.”

“Even if we get detention it’d be worth it.” Peter said, as the other two nodded.

Remus just smiled at them. They were fearless in their need to prank not jus tSnape but everyone. It was something they all enjoyed so much. To the point where it was the foundation of their friendship.

At least one of them.

Standing up from his bed and going to his trunk. Shifting things around with a frown before pulling out some chocolate. Going over to the bed and offering some to Sirius.

“I guess that means we’ll have to do it in the next few days before everyone leaves the castle.” Remus said offhandedly, as the boys laughed, “I’d hate for you boys to not have your audience.”

Sirius shoved him just a little, “You love the audience too.”

Remus just shrugged his shoulders.

“If I do or don’t only I know.”

Going down to breakfast and sitting immediately across from Snape. They each pointed their wand at them and muttered the spell. Making sure not to say it too loud but also making sure they were saying it precisely.

At the sound of the first foghorn, it made the entire hall jump in tandem.

Remus hid his smile behind his goblet. It was so loud and repetitive that he wondered if he should’ve found a less obnoxious noise.

Seeing the looks on the three boys faces though changed his mind. They looked positively delighted to hear and see the reactions that Snape was giving out.

Eating his food quietly and trying not to laugh each time he heard the foghorn sound. Up until Slughorn ended the enchantment.

Remus looked up to the table of professors to see McGonagall looking at them suspiciously.

He looked to his food with a frown.

“What’s wrong, Remus?” Peter asked.

“Act natural.” Remus told them, “McGonagall is onto us.”

Sirius grabbed a few crumpets and attempting to juggle them.

“That’s awful.” James said, “Where’d you learn to juggle at?”

“I didn’t.” Sirius told him.

Remus grabbed one out of the air and started to eat it.

“Cheers, I enjoy crumpets more once they’ve been tossed in the air.” Remus joked, as Sirius dropped them with a burst of loud laughter escaping him.

“You’re hilarious, really.” James said, laughing as well.

“I try.” Remus said, “Peter would you like to try it? It’s life changing.”

Peter nodded as he split the crumpet; handing it off to the other boy.

He knew his father kept telling him to break off these friendships but he didn’t think he ever could. He knew this Christmas holiday would be one of his favorites. These people didn’t have to be friends with him but they were.

And for some reason, that meant more than a holiday with his parents. Who Remus sometimes felt like had to love him. After hearing them talk about werewolves when they thought he wasn’t around...it made him feel unwelcome. He loved his parents but they were obligated to love and care for him.

These three people weren’t. Remus knew that he’d do anything for these boys. Although he was eleven, he agreed with James and Sirius. You knew your friends when you met them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus realizes that these boys know him a little too well in some ways and in others not at all.

Christmas morning was a lot different than Remus was used to.

James, Sirius and Peter woke up insanely early. The sun wasn’t even up yet. And he woke up to a bed full of boys waking him up.

“Remus come on! We have presents to open!”

It said something that Remus only groaned and tried to roll over.

“Come on Remus! For us? Wake up for us?” Peter asked, a pout in his voice.

Remus didn’t even have to look to know.

“The sun isn’t even up guys, come on.” Remus whined.

“But—but presents.” Sirius said, as if that was all the explanation needed.

“Alright and? They’ll be there when we wake up when the sun is up.”

“No! Now!”

Remus was actually shocked when all three boys lifted him out of bed. Tensing up as they took him down the stairs once at a time to the common room. Being deposited lightly on the couch.

“You boys may just be the most ridiculous people I’ve ever met.” Remus said, grabbing a blanket and covering up.

Sirius pulled his wand out, “_Incendio._”

The fire place came to life as he sat next to Remus. James immediately putting their presents in front of them. Remus looking at the three presents in front of him. He’d opened his parents gifts the night before.

His own gifts to the boys being placed in front of them. Each opening one as Remus picked up Peter’s first.

He’d gotten two new jumpers as he looked to Peter who smiled.

“You’re always talking about how cold you are.” Peter said softly, “I figured it would be the best present.”

“Thanks Peter.” Remus said, smiling at him.

Remus watched James open his present he’d gotten him and saw him smile widely.

“Remus, how-”

“Nicked it from the Quidditch closet.” Remus said, as James gaped at him, “Not my fault that the Slytherin team forgot to lock it up.”

James hugged the boy tightly before pulling back. He played with it for just a moment before putting it back in the package.

He watched Peter grin at Sirius who shared the same look as they opened up boxes filled with Zonko’s products.

Remus pulling James’ present up with a shocked look on his face. It was heavier than he thought it’d be.

Opening it and seeing all the books that were neatly lined up; all the titles facing him as he looked to the boy who was grinning widely.

“I got Evans’ help after I told her what books I saw you with. She gave me a list of suggestions to choose from. I just chose ones with interesting titles.”

“I think that’s the Christmas miracle we were looking for boys.”

James shoved Remus’ shoulder as the werewolf laughed. James had been trying to get Lily to be friends with them since the start of term feast. She wouldn’t show him the time of day most days because of how he’d treated Snape on the train and how they treated him now.

“Piss off.” James laughed, “You like them?”

“I haven’t read a lot of these.” Remus said, grinning, “Thanks James.”

Peter opened his present from James and looked at the boy with a grin as he pulled out one of multiple snacks. Sirius opening his present from James as well to a huge grin as he pulled out muggle records. Lily and a few others had been playing records all term. Sirius enjoying a lot of it except for a few songs here and there.

“Thanks Jamie boy.” Sirius told the boy.

Remus opening his last present from Sirius with wide eyes. A heavy winter coat was in the box. He pulled it out and looked into the box which still held a few things. _Lord of the Rings_ looked back up at him surrounded by chocolate.

“Sirius-”

“I ruined your coat last month when we hexed Snape. I told you I was sorry and I meant it.” Sirius said, shrugging, “Plus your copy looked like it was falling apart. I asked James if he could get his parents to get it while they were shopping for his.”

“Thanks Sirius.” Remus said, as Peter and Sirius opened their presents from him.

James opening Sirius’ as he laughed. A box of dungbombs greeted the boy as well as some other Zonko’s products.

“Remus, thanks!” Peter said, pulling out sweets that Remus had gotten one of the house elves to make them after asking his Potions tutor who made the food and where.

He hadn’t told the boys about that yet.

Sirius looked at Remus and pulled out a bunch of papers.

“What are these?”

“Vouchers for helping with your homework, doing your homework and your favorite helping you play pranks on Slytherins.”

“Brilliant.” Sirius said, as Remus laughed, “Cheers Rem.”

While Remus’ parents weren’t poor they weren’t rich either. And considering he hadn’t told his parents yet that he had friends he didn’t want to ask them for help to get them presents.

He already knew what they’d say.

That making friends wasn’t flying below the radar; it was the exact opposite. His parents wanted him to be a wallflower. To fade into the background and be invisible.

Unfortunately with these boys, he didn’t think that’d be an issue.

\-------------------------------------------------------

It really was truly hilarious that after getting the invisibility cloak that they’d gotten caught three times pulling the simplest pranks.

Changing Snape’s hair from black to a bright aqua had been hilarious. Especially after Sirius had put a red stripe down the middle. He had tried to levitate Peter onto one of the chandeliers in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room. James had done a wedgie spell on Snape which Remus hadn’t approved of at all. He didn’t want to pick on Severus but he didn’t get to mess with one of his friends.

However, being caught by McGonagall hadn’t been part of the plan.

Detentions, in Remus’ opinion, weren’t that bad. Unless they were with Slughorn in which case, just kill him now.

This particular detention, McGonagall had split them up in pairs of two. Sirius and Peter were cleaning erasers whereas he and James were cleaning the chalkboards.

“This is boring.” Sirius complained as he banged two erasers together.

“Oh I’m sorry, you thought detention was supposed to be fun? And you call me an idiot.” Peter teased, getting a chuckle out of James.

“It’s not as bad as Slughorn.” Remus commented, seeing them all cringe, “I’d rather clean chalkboards and erasers than cauldrons. Or sort his potion ingredients again.”

“Too right, Remus.” James said, rinsing out the sponge, “Besides, we’re almost done.”

And they were almost done. Just two more chalkboards to go and the boys had about six erasers left. Remus wasn’t entirely certain what beef James and Sirius had with Snape but it was enough that every time they saw him they wanted to do something.

Remus only participated if the male had done something to James, Peter or Sirius. He didn’t condone bullying but he didn’t stop them either.

That being said, pranks weren’t bullying in his mind. They were just harmless bits of fun. All three of them knew that about him. They knew what his boundaries were by now and it made him happy that they respected them.

“So Remus, what prank are you working on?” Sirius asked.

“Why do you assume I’m working on something?” Remus asked, as Sirius grinned.

“You only draw in that notebook of yours when you’re thinking up prank ideas.” Sirius said, as Remus gaped at him, “So what is it?”

“I’ll have you know that I find drawing to be therapeutic.” Remus said, seeing the looks on their faces before sighing, “Fine. Sirius, are you still on speaking terms with Andromeda?”

Sirius raised a brow, “She’s the only cousin I have that isn’t horrible what do you think?”

“I think she could give us the password to the Slytherin common room.” Remus told him, seeing Sirius tilt his head.

“Oh Remus.” James said, “Please tell me what you’re planning.”

“It won’t be easy. She’ll want to know why I want the password. Especially considering she’s a prefect.” Sirius said, “We can’t do anything to her.”

“My honor on it.” Remus said, ignoring James entirely, “At least, not directly to her.”

Sirius stared at him, “Remus, what’s your plan-”

“Not here!” Remus said, looking to see if McGonagall had come back in, “Later, in the dorm.”

James and Peter both pumped their fists into the air.

“Oh James, is this a bad time to tell you we’ll need the cloak?” Remus asked, seeing both boys freeze.

“I’m both scared and intrigued.” James said, “Alright.”

\-------------------------------------------------------

It took them four and a half hours to get the prank done. Four and a half hours of charming bathroom supplies and hexing their furniture. Four and a half hours of hexing their dorms and slipping out to the Potions classroom to do what they needed there.

Those four and a half hours were damn well worth it. Especially considering Carrow had teased him about looking sickly. While the full moon was a few days away, it was enough to make him solidify his opinion that he’d prank Slytherin.

He didn’t want the others to get bored and find him dull. He didn’t want to lose his friends now that he had them.

Dye in the shower water had made the Slytherin’s quite a colorful bunch. Their hair and skin equally dyed various shades of red, blue, and purple.

Seeing Snape glare in their direction made Remus turn to his friends who were holding in their laughter.

“Oh Remus, you’re bloody brilliant.” Peter giggled, laying his head down.

Remus said, sipping his tea, “Pass the marmalade, Pete?”

The werewolf had had to make sure that the others knew to act normal. They’d be watched by McGonagall and anything out of the ordinary would pin it on them.

Seeing her make her way to them as he watched the three boys make quick work of eating.

“Am I to assume this was your doing, boys?”

Remus looked at her, sporting the wide eyes and innocent look he had done from years of being alone with his parents.

“Professor, we were all studying hard for the Charms exam tomorrow. You can ask anyone in the common room, we were in our dorm all night.” Remus told her, as she narrowed her eyes at them.

“Who studied with whom?”

“I studied with Remus.” Sirius said, “James was with Peter. James is the best at Charms and Peter struggles with it. Me and Remus are kind of same level with it so we thought it made sense. We went over the hovering charm and the cheering charm.”

“Don’t think I won’t ask around.” she warned before leaving them.

And they knew she had asked. Frank and Alice confirming they had been in their dorm and they hadn’t seen them come out. And they’d been in the dorm until almost midnight.

They had Potions first thing and it was obvious that Slughorn hadn’t seen the classroom as it was completely upside down.

The potions classroom by itself had taken about two hours. Dye in the showers and hexing furniture to fall apart had been easy. All four of them had fixed the dye in the shower heads fairly quickly. Hexing the furniture had taken all of an hour to get to every piece in the common room.

Flipping an entire classroom took a while. They had to spell each piece of furniture to go upside down and place multiple sticking charms on them.

Slughorn looked completely out of his depth. Remus pulled his notebook out and showed his friends the drawing he had done almost a month ago. Sirius staring at him in a sort of wonder as Remus shut the book and raised his hand.

Sirius was right, most of the time when he drew it was for prank ideas. While he didn’t come up with as many frequent pranks as James and Sirius he did come up with some good ones.

He was also good at playing innocent whereas James and Sirius couldn’t keep the looks off their faces when they’d pulled something off. Peter was just as bad when he was caught with them. Usually the boy could sneak off before someone figured it out. He’d been proud of how they held themselves that morning when McGonagall had questioned them.

“Professor Slughorn, how are we meant to brew potions if they’re….well...up there?” Remus asked innocently, as the teacher turned towards him.

The werewolf had perfected the art of just tilting his head to the side and biting his lip worriedly. He loved learning and going to class. So things that interfered with both almost always got him overlooked as the perpetrator.

He’d had a long talk with James and Sirius about looking just as clueless as him about this particular prank. He didn’t fancy having a month’s worth of detentions.

“Right well, Mr. Lupin that’s a wonderful question. Class is canceled today, unfortunately.” Slughorn said firmly, “I need to go find Professor Flitwick.”

He left them as the Gryffindor’s cheered and started to leave.

“You four think you’re clever don’t you?” Snape sneered, his skin still a reddish color as he glared at them.

“Us four? We had nothing to do with it.” Sirius said, hands up, “Trust me, if it was us we’d take credit.”

“However, this doesn’t have our fingerprints on it, Snivellus.” James told him, “But look at the bright side, no Potions today.”

He looped his arm with Remus’ and pulled him out. Sirius taking the other arm as Peter pulled up behind them. His arm looping with James’ as the three boys just stared at Remus.

“Remus, you are bloody brilliant.” Sirius said, “What even made you think of that?”

“I got the idea from one of the books James got me for Christmas.” Remus said, shrugging.

If Remus had any doubt that these three would abandon him over the next few months it was quickly abated as James started raving about worshiping at his altar.

James and Sirius came up with pranks at least three times a week. The enormous ones they thought of got the Remus and Peter touch where they tried to make it doable so they wouldn’t be caught.

It worked fifty percent of the time right now.

“Sirius!”

They all froze when they saw the dark haired girl walk up to them.

“Did you have something to do with what happened in my common room?” Andromeda Black didn’t ask, she almost demanded.

“Never, my dearest and most favorite cousin!” Sirius said, acting shocked, “I just wondered how different your password was from ours. And it was quite different is all. I swear Andromeda, I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“I believe that but I also think you had something to do with it.” Andromeda said, “Whenever a prank happens it stinks of you four.”

“Are you saying we need to bathe more?” James asked, as she stared at him dumbstruck, “I told Sirius he couldn’t go a few hours without showering. He’s like a dog, this one, loves to roll around in the mud.”

“That was one time! And Peter pushed me in a mud puddle.” Sirius exclaimed, looking at James then Andromeda, “I swear, one mud bath and you’re looked at like a loon.”

“Do you four ever make sense?” Andromeda asked, “Or do you just have your own little special language?”

“I like to think of it as us being on the same brain wave length.” Remus said, “Either that or our collective IQ just makes us brilliant. Which do you think boys?”

He looked on either side of himself seeing Peter shrug.

“I mean, both is good.” Peter told him, “Sorry Andromeda that someone pranked your common room. That has to be a terrible thing.”

“It was.” Andromeda sighed, “Sirius, I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Of course.”

When she walked off they all four laughed. James steering them in the direction of the courtyard. They had their usual hang out spots near the lake and by the great tree in the courtyard.

James climbed up it and leaned against the base of it. His legs out as Sirius climbed down on the opposite limb one rung down from him.

“Remus, are there any pranks in there we haven’t done?” Sirius asked, glancing at the sketchbook.

“Yes and no, you can’t look at them.” Remus said, “They aren’t right just yet.”

“Our Remus, ever the perfectionist.” James said proudly, “So after classes today I was thinking we could spend the weekend exploring the castle? Trying to find the kitchens that Prewett told us about.”

“That’ll be all you guys. I’m off to home again.” Remus put in, trying to sound put out.

“Again?” Sirius asked, sighing, “Jeez Rem, you’re home every month. What was the point of coming to school if you go home?”

“It’s only for a day or two.”

“Last time you were gone for a week!” James exclaimed.

Remus looked down as Peter looked to the other two boys before sighing.

“Remus, is everything good at home?” Peter asked gently, as Remus frowned at him.

“I mean, my aunt’s sick is all. My parents get really overwhelmed with her. Last month was just really bad is all.”

He watched the three boys look at each other and then down before he sat up a little straighter.

“What is it?” Remus asked.

“Remus...Rem.” Sirius said, getting out of the tree, “If that’s true then why is it that you always come back with new wounds?”

Remus stared at the older boy with his mouth slightly agape. His mouth closing as he tried to think of any excuse he could.

“It isn’t like that.” Remus finally said softly.

“Then what is it like, Remus?” Peter asked gently, “If your parents are abusing you then just tell the truth. The three of us talked about it and you could stay with James or I during the summer-”

“I can’t.” Remus said, “Would that I could but I can’t. My family needs me-”

“If they’re using you as a punching bag because of your aunt then that isn’t okay.” Sirius said firmly.

James and Peter went to Sirius who was obviously deviating from their plan.

“Sirius-”

“If anyone knows what you’re dealing with it’s me, Remus. My parents aren’t exactly cookie cutter types. You do anything that goes against their wishes and traditions you pay for it with flesh and blood.” Sirius said honestly, as Remus stared at him wide eyed, “So yeah, if they’re using you as an outlet for dealing with your aunt being ill then that is seriously not alright.”

Remus wanted to make a joke but found it dying in his throat. His friends were worried about him and he couldn’t tell them the truth.

“It isn’t what you think.” Remus sighed, “I-”

“You don’t have to make excuses for them. Just stay with James and Peter some this summer. It’ll be good for you Remus-”

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to. My parents don’t like me away from home if they can help it. Hogwarts was a huge step for us.” Remus told them, which probably didn’t help, “They have their reasons for what they do.”

“So they have a reason for hurting you then?”

“Can we please stop talking about this?” Remus asked, “I’m really not comfortable talking about it. So can we drop it? Please.”

James and Peter put their hands up in defeat. Sirius, on the other hand, had no such qualms.

“Why because you don’t want to lie anymore?”

Remus just huffed and turned on his heel. Leaving them all in the courtyard as he made his way back to the tower.

He wasn’t going to have the same conversation in circles. If Sirius didn’t want to believe him that was fine. He wasn’t going to tell them anything.

It wouldn’t be the first nor last time Sirius pushed a topic he wasn’t comfortable with.

\-------------------------------------------------------

The day after the full moon was always the roughest. Remus used to think it was the day before but after growing older. Before he was just moody and on edge.

After he was in so much pain he would do anything to make it end.

Lying in bed always made him feel worthless on top of it. Feeling like he could be doing anything else, anything more productive.

Walking back to Gryffindor tower two weeks before summer he felt empty. He’d fought with the boys for over four days now. Which, to be fair, he’d been avoiding them ever since they’d asked him about if his parents abused him.

He could see why they’d ask it but it didn’t make him anymore likely to tell them anything.

He wished he could tell them that he was a werewolf. However, he knew how’d that end. They’d run screaming and he’d be alone again.

Remus let out a loud sigh and ran his hand through his hair. Which, if his parents were to be believed would be for the best. His mother hadn’t seen the reason to let him come to Hogwarts in the first place. It wasn’t like he could get a job after.

The young werewolf went out towards the Black Lake. Going and sitting near the shore as he let the sun hit him.

It was so quiet out here. It was early enough that students were still asleep. This was his favorite time of the day.

Pulling his legs up and looking out towards the lake. Seeing a tentacle come out of the water and plop on the surface.

“Hey you’re back.”

Remus looked to see Sirius behind him before he turned back to the water.

“Remus, we haven’t spoken in days. Which is really bizarre given we haven’t spent a day apart the whole year. James and Peter are worried.”

“And what about you?” Remus asked.

“I passed worried three days ago when you didn’t immediately sit with us at breakfast. I’m sorry if I crossed a line or boundary.” Sirius said, before he sat next to Remus.

He pulled his shirt up and turned so his back faced Remus. The tawny haired boy felt his eyes widen before he could stop them. There were very thin lines that crossed across his back. At least twelve or so that Remus could see before the shirt was dropped.

“At my home if you break something you get whipped.” Sirius said, “I’m a little accident prone is what Reg says. You also get whipped if you back talk or talk about muggle anything. You’d think I’d learn to keep my mouth shut.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Remus teased, as Sirius flipped him off, “Have you ever thought that our situations aren’t the same?”

“I have. I’ve let the idea toss around in my head for so long that I’ve come up with a few theories. But Remus, if they are hurting you then please for the love of Merlin, go to James or Peter’s for a few days. You don’t have to admit anything just go. We can even make a rule about it. IF you say something, just one word, it is no questions asked.”

Remus swallowed hard as he looked at the ground. It would be tricky to ask his parents if he could visit his friends. Mainly because he’d have to explain that he did in fact have friends.

“What was it that McGonagall called us a few months ago during the pumpkin fiasco?” Sirius asked, “It was like—um...hell.”

“She said we were acting like a bunch of marauders. Always sneaking about to cause mayhem and discourse.” Remus said softly.

“Just say you’d like to invoke the Marauder’s code.” Sirius said, seeing Remus look at him, “That way we know not to ask you anything about it. At least then we’ll know you’re safe. I know you can’t say no to going home but—something to think about. And maybe let them just deal with your aunt. You’re eleven, Rem. Taking care of sick people isn’t up to you...you’re a kid.”

“I thought it was my aunt this time but it was my mum instead.” Remus deflected the lie to something new. Hopefully Sirius wouldn’t ask too many questions.

Instead the black haired boy just looked at him and nodded.

“So if you’ve forgiven us will you please come eat breakfast with us?”

Remus shrugged his shoulders, “I guess I could.”

The werewolf sighed and turned to face his friend fully.

“Sirius, maybe you should also see if you can go to James or Peter’s.”

Sirius snorted, “James maybe, but not Peter. He’s a half blood and as soon as they found that out I’d be beaten within an inch of my life.”

Remus winced at the phrase, “Even still, try and see if you can go to James’.”

“I will if you do.”

The younger male sighed and threw his hands up.

“Bloody hell, you just don’t give up do you?” Remus asked, as Sirius grinned, “Which I should know given you’ve been my roommate all year. Fine, I’ll try and see if I can go. But seeing as how my parents don’t even bloody know I have friends it may be difficult.”

Sirius’ head jerked to look at him as Remus paled.

“Why haven’t you told them about us?” Sirius frowned.

Remus shook his head, “Forget I said anything.”

“Sod that, I want to know why you haven’t told your parents about us. You embarrassed by us then, mate?”

Remus thought about lying to Sirius but he was so sick of lying about everything concerning his parents. And really, wouldn’t it be better to have an outlet to vent to?

“My parents are very private people. They wanted me to fly below the radar while I was here. Making friends leads to trouble is what they believe. It makes things more difficult in any case. I wanted to tell them about you guys at the beginning of the year but then father wrote and asked how my sutdies were going. And he reiterated that I shouldn’t make friends. I’ve never made friends before you three, Sirius. The kids in the places I’ve lived thought I was a freak. And it’s lonely not having anyone.”

“Why do they think that?”

Remus shrugged, “I know you boys see that I get sick a bunch. I’ve been like that since I was give. They worry that if I have friends that they’ll leave. Which would suck more than not having any at all.”

Sirius opened and shut his mouth before tearing up some grass. Remus watched him play with it as his legs cross and he leaned on it. He didn’t say anything; instead watching his older friend play over whatever he was thinking about.

“Are you scared we’re going to ditch you?” Sirius finally asked.

“Yeah...I am. I keep thinking that having friends is a dream and I’ll wake up and not have any.” Remus said, seeing the hurt look in Sirius’ eyes, “Like I said, it’s lonely not having friends.”

“I could see why. We aren’t going to ditch you, Remus. Much like moss on a tree, you’re stuck with us.” Sirius said, “Couldn’t get rid of us now even if you wanted to. We’ll just hover like some awful sort of ghost.”

Remus laughed, “You’re ridiculous, you know that.”

“I’d rather be ridiculous than boring. Now come on, breakfast is calling us with it’s siren sound.” Sirius said, standing up and reaching a hand down.

Remus took it and let the boy pull him up. Sirius threw an arm around his shoulder.

“Tell your parents about us, Remus. Maybe we can all plan to stay at James’ around the same time.” Sirius said, sounding hopeful, “It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

“I’ll try if you will.” Remus shrugged.

Letting him lead him to the Great Hall. He didn’t know if his parents would go for it but he would try.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Remus didn’t have to tell his parents he had friends. They saw for themselves when Peter, James and Sirius made a point of group hugging him. He’d never forget the looks on their faces. They were so shocked and he would swear they were disappointed.

“Don’t forget, Remus.” Sirius said, as his mother called for him sharply, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

Remus nodded his head as he went to his parents. Hope and Lyall Lupin didn’t look at all pleased with their son as they left. He made sure to keep his head down; trying to prolong the inevitable.

He knew they weren’t happy. He could almost taste it in the air.

“I thought we all three agreed you wouldn’t make friends.” Lyall said, his tone unforgiving.

“No...you agreed.” Remus disagreed, “They’re really great though, you guys would like them. We all help each other study and they’re really nice.”

“They’ll be nice up until they find out you’re a werewolf and then where will you be?” Lyall asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Alone, again. Except they’ll know your secret and tell everyone at that school.” Hope told him firmly, “And it’ll hurt worse because they were your friends. And we’ll have to pull you from that school to protect you.”

Remus looked down, “They think that I’m visiting my sick aunt. Helping you guys out a few days a month.”

“They do?” Hope asked, looking back at him once they got to the car, “Well they are eleven, I guess they’re a little naive still.”

“In fact...James asked if I could come visit this summer.” Remus asked slowly, “Sirius and Peter did too.”

“What are their last names?”

“Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and Sirius Black.”

Lyall froze as he looked behind himself to his son.

“You’re friends with a Potter and Black?”

“Yes sir.” Remus said, seeing his father stare at him in bewilderment, “What’s the big deal? They’re my roommates in Gryffindor.”

“A Black in Gryffindor? Are you sure?”

“I’ve slept in the same room as him for a year, father, I’m sure.” Remus laughed softly, “He’s actually my study buddy. James helps Peter because Sirius doesn’t have the patience to.”

Lyall looked completely scandalized, “I bet Walburga loves that.”

“Who?”

“His mother, I went to school with her. She was a piece of work.”

“She still is.” Remus said softly, “She whips him when he does something wrong.”

Lyall frowned as Hope looked shocked.

“That doesn’t shock me. Walburga and Orion are both blood purists. Nothing but perfection from their family. The Black family has always been like that. The Potter’s are a lot more understanding. They’re for halfblood and muggle born witches and wizards. They’re purebloods but not in the way the Black’s are.”

“So...is that a yes?” Remus asked slowly.

Lyall looked at his son, seeing the hopeful look on his face. Hope taking Remus’ hand and squeezing it.

“Are you thinking about this fully, Remus? Your father was under the understanding that most people at that school would turn you in for being a werewolf if they found out.”

“I’m being careful. I even use chains and the muzzle at the school. I’m trying so hard to keep it a secret. I’m just asking to have three friends. Three friends that I can hang out with at school and during the summer. Please, I don’t ask for anything.” Remus said, as his father finally started to drive, “I always do what you ask, I’m just asking for this one thing.”

Hope and Lyall shared a look and said nothing as Remus felt his eyes burn.

“I’ll think about it.” Lyall said, as Remus looked down and closed his eyes.

His father thinking about anything most of the time meant that it was a no. He fought to keep himself from crying. He had to show his parents he was mature enough to make this decision.

However, his father looked completely perplexed that a Potter and Black were friends with him. He guessed it was because they were purebloods and Remus knew that the Black family had a bad reputation. Peter was a half blood so that was probably why he didn’t react so harshly.

He just knew it would be a long summer.

\-------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long summer. One that he wanted to end so he could go back to school.

_Dear Remus,_

_Hope you’re doing okay, I haven’t heard much from you this summer. Is everything okay with your aunt? I miss you a lot. Let us know if you can come visit at James’. Even Sirius got the okay to go._

_Talk soon?_

_Peter_

Remus had let his parents read the small letter before sending his own short one back.

The one from Sirius a few days later had hurt to read.

_Rem,_

_So I know I should ask how your summer is and how your aunt is but sod that. My mum and dad approved for me to go to James’ on the 27th. I’m sure he sent you a letter by now to ask about it. I had to lie and say that James didn’t share his parents views on muggle and half bloods. Needless to say that is what got them to agree. They’re hoping I can turn the Potter heir away from his parents views. Bit much, ain’t it? My mum got a little mad at me. Got punished a bit for breaking the family vase in the kitchen._

_Again, I hope you get to come. I miss all your faces._

_Yours,_

_Sirius_

It was like getting punched in the gut. He hadn’t seen them all summer and had had two horrible transformations. He now had a small silvery scar going across his left eyebrow. It was small but still there and it bugged him every time he saw it in the mirror.

The wolf was furious about being back home. He didn’t know why because he didn’t like it at school either.

_Dear Remus,_

_Your presence has been requested on August 27th through until September 1st where we will board the Hogwarts Express together. Mum said we can also go to Diagon Alley as well, so bring things to get your supplies for school. Sirius and Peter will also be joining us. We all three miss you a lot. We’ve gotten to spent some time together since school let out but you haven’t been able to come. So hopefully you will this time?_

_Please let me know as soon as possible if you’re allowed to. We have a lot of things we want to do before school starts. We also have a lot of chocolate if that helps?_

_Hoping your mum and aunt are well,_

_James Potter_

Remus had given the letter to his parents who stared at it. James wanted him there in four days. All three of them did.

“Remus...”

“Father, I admit fully that I need to be careful especially considering the fact I’m a werewolf. However, that being said, shouldn’t I be able to make my own mistakes? If trusting these three ends up with me hurt then shouldn’t I have to learn that?”

“This is different, Remus. You’re twelve, you can’t make these decisions yourself.” Lyall said, “This could effect your whole life-”

“My life is already over.” Remus exclaimed sadly, his voice breaking, “Who in their right mind would hire a werewolf? Who would date one? I’ve already accepted the fact that I’m going to have to go through life without a stable job. That I won’t have someone like you do mother. I would however, like to experience having friends. Just so I can say that I had friends at some point in my life. I’m perfectly normal twenty-nine days of the month. I’m only a monster for one night. And the full moon has already happened this month. The next one isn’t until the fourth. So it’ll be perfectly safe. Please let me go!”

Lyall looked at the letter again and sighed. He and Hope shared a look before Lyall stood up.

“Alright.” Hope said, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, “If they find out you’re a werewolf and it goes horribly however, you have to reap the consequences. No matter how terrible and awful they are. You’re right, we can’t shield you from everything. That being said, if they hurt you we don’t want to hear about it. Otherwise you’ll get the biggest I told you so of your life. Understood?”

Remus stared at her in shock before turning to his father.

“I agree with your mother. We’re trying to protect you but if you think you know better then we’ll try it your way. It goes horribly and you tell us we’ll give an I told you so and be there for you.”

“Because while we love you, Remus. Others won’t be so kind to you. Werewolves are monsters in their eyes. And you’ll be alone again and it’ll be worse because you’ll know what friendship is and feels like.” Hope sighed, “So if it’s what you want, then you can go.”

“Thank you...thank you so much!” Remus breathed, taking the letter from his father.

Turning to go write James before he turned and hugged them both. Rushing to write his friends that he was going to be coming.

\-------------------------------------------------------

His father personally escorted him to the Potter’s. Apparating always made Remus feel sick to his stomach. Feeling like he was out of his skin in a worse way than being a werewolf ever did.

He wanted to make sure that Remus got there safely while also wanting to meet James’ parents.

After it was all said and done and his father was gone….as strange as it was he felt like he could breathe again.

He knew his parents loved him and were worried about him but he needed some freedom. He needed to make friends.

After his father had left the boys had tackled him to the couch. Hugging him tightly as they all talked over each other about their summers. Remus just watched them with wide eyes as they shoved at one another to talk.

“One at a time!” Remus finally shouted, as they all quietened, “Goodness gracious you guys, you wrote to me all summer. Did you forget things?”

“No, we’re just excited you get to be here.” Peter said, “Sirius told us that your parents were a hard sell on the visiting front.”

“They just worry about me a lot.”

“James! Can you come help us with dinner?”

James sighed, “Pete, will you come help?”

“Of course, give these two a second to catch up. Then we can talk to him without Sirius interrupting us.”

“Hey! I don’t interrupt you!”

James and Peter gave him a look as Sirius gave them a sheepish look.

“Much.” He amended, as Remus laughed.

The pair left as Remus looked to Sirius who motioned to Remus’ eye.

“What happened there?”

“Oh...um...I wasn’t paying attention where I was going. I fell down the last few steps of my house. I was so clumsy my mother thought about investing in a bubble for me.”

Sirius looked doubtful before he looked to the side.

“Mum thought that I was going to spend my time corrupting James while I was here. If only she knew.”

“No one ever said your mother was clever.” Remus said, as Sirius grinned.

“No they didn’t.” Sirius said, “What did you do this summer?”

“Read the books James got me for Christmas.” Remus said honestly, “Then got some more to read. You know my parents don’t want me to make friends. I had to actually convince them to let me come.”

“Well we already knew that you’re good at convincing people. You got us out of how many detentions last year because you’re good at playing the sweet, innocent one?”

“I am sweet and innocent.” Remus said, mock offended, “And twenty-four times.”

“You counted?”

“Well considering as soon as you and James spoke you had us nailed, of course I did.” Remus laughed.

“That’s very true.” Sirius said, snickering, “So are you excited about what James has planned?”

“I am.”

“Good, because it starts after dinner.” Sirius told him, “We’re going to camp out back.”

“Camp?” Remus asked.

“You’ll see.”

And see he did because it was one of many summers that were the best of his life.


End file.
